This journey can be a roller coaster ride of emotions and I will be brutally honest as I open my life through this blog in order to help others to better understand.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

BETA DAY

I have not posted since my transfer but to let you all know the time has gone by relatively fast. I suppose going to Vegas 5 days after my transfer helped. I had a lot of fun and got to see the Lion King at Mandala Bay. It was incredible and highly recommend it but this will be the last year it is showing in Vegas!!! I got to spend quality time with my beautiful daughter, her boyfriend, and of course my husband. Now I did take the evil HPTs with me and tested at 7 & 8 days past my transfer. Both were negatives and I had a melt down. Since Kevin didn't know that I even took the tests I had to put on a smile while on the inside my heart was breaking. If it wasn't for my IVF gals I don't know what I would do. They help me to keep my sanity and because of their advice I decided not to test again because it was too emotionally draining. Although I have not tested  again I am pretty sure this cycle was a bust. Now I know it is not over until the Beta lady sings but it is a feeling I have. I just feel different than my last cycle and with my last I had a feeling before I got back my second BETA numbers that it was not going to be good. It would be great to be surprised but I need to be realistic. I already talked to Kevin and let him know that I want to do this again. I think the talked help me feel a little better. At least I know that this is not final

I will update later

UPDATE:  As expected my Beta came back negative. I am Ok though and I am ready to move forward to my next cycle. Maybe 3 times will be the charm!

Friday, June 3, 2011

FET

So again I haven't posted like I should but with a FET there is not too much going on. Also the joys of having children and step-children make for a lot of activity. My step-daughter Kassie graduated from 8th grade on May 25. Boy was that place packed, my mother-in-law thought it was so strange that so many people would go to this event. But you know when it comes to your kids no event is too small. Then on June 1 my other step-daughter Kandace graduated from high school.

So  I have to insert estrogen cream around dinner time and then lay down for about 10 or 15 minutes. The problem was that we had to leave early to get a decent seat so I took the estrace with me & planned on lying down on the back seat. However, the traffic was so bad at the ASU arena where the graduation was taking place that I had to do it while he was driving. My kids were asleep in the back seat. So there with skirt hiked  up & underwear to the side inserting the cream. Yep real glad a semi didn't drive by. ;-p

Anyway all went well & the graduation was great. They went through over 500 names in about 30 minutes!!!

Well today was my big day. I was up by 5 since my nerves would not let me sleep. I went in for my 1st acupuncture treatment & absolutely loved. I was so relaxed. While I was waiting for the acupuncturist to come back the embryologist's assistant came in and told us that they thawed 2 embryos. One was doing very good while the other was not.
Our options were:
  1. Thaw another embryo out
  2. Take  our chances & transfer the two I have
  3. If the one embryo showed complete stop of growth then transfer the one.
Kevin decide that we should take our chances. After she left I was quiet for awhile. I wasn't upset just deep in thought. I had a nagging feeling and it just didn't seem right to me. I discussed it with Kevin and he decided to go tell them we had changed our minds. This was about 15 minutes after the assistant had come in. This caused a little delay in my transfer since we had to wait for the other embryo thaw out. I had drunk 16 oz of water and was dying to pee. At one point I was almost in tears because it was starting to hurt. I sent Kevin up to ask if I could empty  a little out. But right at that moment they were ready for me.  So there I was bent over walking trying not to piddle on the floor. We got in and they had me put my feet in the stirrups with my Hoo Haw exposed to the world. Surprisingly this position caused a little relief on my poor enlarged bladder. My RE Dr. Craig walked in & asked how I felt about twins. I said that I was fine with that while Kevin was just quiet. He said that the one that was not doing so good was still hanging in there and they would transfer it as well. He gave me a 68% chance of conceiving twins though and a 6% for triplets!!! He felt very optimistic about this so while I know that anything can happen, I feel pretty good too.

My comfy position didn't last long while Dr.  Craig put the clamp in one of the nurses  pressed the ultrasound on  my belly causing my bladder to scream in protest. Oh well it will all be worth it in the end if I get a baby or babies several months later. When I was finally allowed to pee. I didn't think I would ever stop. I peed for almost a minute. I actually timed it.

Now I am on Princess status resting up and praying and hoping for the best, wondering if my little beans are doing their job.

One thing is for sure it feels great to be Pregnant Unless Proven Otherwise (PUPO)