I have been gone way too long and for weeks I have been telling myself that I need to get on here and update. There just has not seem to be enough time in the day and I think I needed to break myself away from it and everyone around it for my own sake. I have kept update with the ins and outs of my friends facing the same struggles but I have been like a silent partner their cheering you on in the background and feeling your pain when things have not worked out. I just needed some time to think. I didn't know if Kev and I were going to get another chance and I was angry and I didn't want to just vent my negativity on others.
So in the meantime I have been venting my negativity into working out and getting into shape. I have lost 15 pounds woo hoo and I feel great!!! My asthma has been so much better since my workout and I am just really proud of myself. However, as of Wednesday evening my working out has been brought to a standstill. I was out riding my bicycle with Kev, (who got a new hand bike so he can exercise now too). Well he still is building up his arm strength and I usually go around our neighborhood once and come back round too him. Anyway, right where the entrance to our subdivision is there is a stop sign and this guy in a truck did a California stop and we collided. I am very fortunate that my injuries are superficial. I did go to the emergency room the next day because my upper abdomen right starting swelling out. They did an MRI on my knee which was also very swollen and bruised and a CT scan on my abdomen because the Dr. was worried about my spleen. After 6 hours in the emergency room everything came back good. They did put a brace on my knee to keep in immobilized and gave me crutches. As soon as the swelling goes down I will be able to go start working out again but he cautioned me to take it easy blah!! If it had to be anyone I am glad that it was me instead of one of the neighborhood kids that live in the area. It really could have been a lot worse!
Now my journey through infertility has seem long to me but I look at many of my friends and my struggles have not even begun to scratch the surface. But in the world of infertility a week can seem like an eternity. For me it has been just over three months since my negative Beta and time has been ticking away. As I have said I have kept myself busy working out, cleaning house, and spending time with family. It has helped. Because we haven't heard anything about whether Kev's workman's comp had approved or denied us another attempt I urged Kevin to call. I think 3 months is enough time to make a decision and I needed to know one way or another so I could make a plan. Jane his caseworker still had not heard back from the lawyers, (this was September 7) but she did not foresee it being a problem and felt we should here something by the beginning of the following week. Well the answer came back two days later and we were approved for another attempt. I don't know if this is the last one and I try not to think about that. Instead I take one day at a time and hope for the best because that is all we can do. I started on my birth control last Thursday. Now we were concern that the accident might delay this attempt but Daina (my IVF coordinator) says as long as nothing is broken or internal damage we can proceed. Looks like my transfer will be around the end of October. Here's hoping that 3 times is the charm.
