This journey can be a roller coaster ride of emotions and I will be brutally honest as I open my life through this blog in order to help others to better understand.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Ready to Get the Show on the Road

I really need to get better about posting. Well I heard from Daina on Monday and got my IVF schedule. THis is how it looks so far:

Monday      3/28/11 - hystoscopy
Wednesday 3/30/11 - Begin Lupron
Sunday        4/03/11 - Stop Birth Control Pills
Wednesday 4/06/11 - Baseline & Blood work
Thursday     4/08/11 - Start  Stims (as long as I get the OK after my baseline & blood work)
Sunday        4/10/11 - Ultrasound & Blood Work
Tuesday      4/12/11 -  Ultrasound & Blood Work

The rest will be determined my how well I respond to the medication.

This time round my RE is upping my Follistim to 300 IU. Last time I was on 200 IU. Basically he wants to try and get about 20 to 25 eggs out of me! (OUCH). I thought I had a fair amount for my age last time which was 15 with 12 being mature. So I am probably going to be more sore this time around, (as long as my body cooperates) but it will all hopefully be for a great reason. So I am ready to get this show on the road.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I See Pregnant People

OK, so I'm  normally a happy human being, I am there for others when needed and celebrate in their successes. However, the green monster of jealously has reared her ugly head, (contrary to popular belief I am not perfect).

I have to start off my jumping back to last month for my mother's birthday. She just turned 72 and I hope I look half as good as she does when I reach that age. Anyways, she tells me that my sister's son and his girlfriend show up at her house with a card. My mom reads it and thanks them. My nephew's girlfriend then asks my nephew if she noticed and he tells her to read it again. My mom does and now notices that it says Happy Birthday Great Grandma!!! Yep that's right my nephew is going to be a dad!!! Now he is an adult, (33) but he does not have a job and still lives at home with my sister and his dad. He really has a lot of growing up to do, his voice mail says, "You have reached Satan. You know what to do. Do it." Maybe this will be a wake up call but I just don't know.

Last week I was on facebook, randomly looking at people's posts just trying to keep up with what is going on with family and friends. I noticed a lot of people were congratulating my niece, (my brother's daughter). I thought first of all it had to do with her husband since he just graduated from basic training in the air force  and maybe he got his papers to where he was being stationed. Nope their pregnant too, been married just under a year and are now expecting. I went in and told my husband that it is beginning to feel like everyone is pregnant but me and I am going to scream if I find out that one more family member is pregnant.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Yep, yesterday I just found out that my brother's (same brother) son and wife are expecting their 5th child. I told my husband, "It is official everyone IS PREGNANT but me!!!! Next all I need to hear is that my daughter is expecting!!!" YIKES!!!!

Now I am happy for all of them and congratulated each one. But I guess I feel like an outsider looking through the window at their happiness. I keep thinking next month I should have been having my baby if I had not miscarried.

I know this is nothing more than my own personal pity party. I think we all feel that way at some point in our lives. Should I be having these ugly jealous feelings, I don't know the jury is still out....










Friday, March 11, 2011

Aunt Franny is Here

So earliar in my lasy post I was wondering when lovely Aunt Frannie was going to arrive. Well she started hinting about her arrival Late Tuesday afternoon and came knocking on my door Tuesday morning. I called my IVF coordinator Daina whom I absolutely love and was scheduled to come in for blood work yesterday morning.

Now since it had been over a year since both Kev and I had had blood work we had to redo the initial tests for HIV and other STD's. Now I love my husband with all my heart but he is a BIG WHINNY BABY when it comes to needles. Because he does not have feeling on certain areas on the top of the hand he asks the nurse to draw blood from there so he can't feel the needle going in!!! WTH I have to be poked and prodded with needles daily for some time during this process and for him this is a one time thing, (at least for a year.) It took forever to draw all the blood out because the veins are smaller there!!! If men, (at least like mine) were the ones that had to give birth, the human race would have died out long ago!!! LOL

As soon as my RE looks over the results Daina will call me back and I will finally get my schedule. YEAH!!!! Isn't it strange how excited I get over poking myself with needles but it is the hopeful end result of a baby or two. Tomorrow I start birth control pills so lets get this show on the road!!!!!!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Light at the End of the Tunnel

So, although I am getting over pneumonia I have been feeling pretty upbeat. I went in on Wednesday for my follow up for my septum removal. So no more estrogen pills, YEAH!!! I did get a progesterone shot, wasn't too bad, (those nurses really know what they are doing there). I was told I can expect my period to show up in about 3 to 5 days but it could take up to 2 weeks but to call them if it hasn't happen after that. So I am feeling pretty good, just waiting for Aunt Frannie (my period) to show and of course she is probably going to take her time just because I want her to arrive. After she does finally show I will go in for by blood work and hopefully get my schedule I really think I am seeing that light at the end of the tunnel and thinking is this finally happening after waiting 7 months since my miscarriage. I know there is a long road ahead and unfortunately no gurantees but I feel at peace and I am geared up ready to try again!!

On a different subject I am staying away from the dreaded scales. Because I was in the hospital and pumped full of steroids I put on 15 pounds within a week!!! I swear that should be illegal people should not be allowed to put on that much weight in that short of time. Since I am feeling better, (just get a little worn out) I am going to go work out tomorrow and hopefully burn some of that wait off. If not I am going to be an elephant by the time I finish the fertility drugs, I gain so much from them too!!!

Have a great night