OK so I have been really really really bad about posting especially with so much that has changed since my last post. It has been a hectic few weeks getting ready to go out of town, helping my son finish his umptinth school project before we leave, cleaning the house from top to bottom so it would pass the white glove test while my mom stayed and watch Courtney and Tristan, and getting groceries in for them as well as goodies for our road trip. I did not sleep at all the night before we left but made up for it the car which resulted in a very stiff neck, there is not much room in a truck for four grown people traveling for 13 hours. I did have a great time in Utah and actually got to see snow falling for the first time in my life. I was like a child in a toy store. I ran around playing in it and probably looked very stupid to all the people of Utah but I don't care I had fun!!!! Kevin's two older kids flew back home on Sunday so they would not miss school and me and Kevin headed to Las Vegas where we had two free nights. That was a short and fast trip and although exhausted from the trip I had a great time.
Now down to business after my hysterscopy I was kind of depressed. My RE told me that the septum had grown back some which happens to about 20 %, Yeah lucky me!!!! My left side of my uterus is not good, too small and not enough blood supply but the right side is large, (even large enough to carry twins) so when he does the transfer he will be placing the embryos in the upper right side, (hopefully they stay there).
The other thing that got me down was that I would not be starting on lupron on the 30th as originally planned. In fact I would not do lupron at all this cycle . Instead I am doing the antagonist protocol and this is how it goes.
I ended BCPS on 4/3/11
Start Follistim - 4/8/11
Start Menopur - 4/10/11
Start Ganirlex - When follicles reach about 14mm
That is all I have for my schedule so as you can see everything is pretty much the same except for the no lupron and adding the ganirlex. Now it is not that I am terribly sadden by the fact that I didn't get to start my shots earlier, (needle phobia here) it just that I really don't like change. I was familiar with the original way and that gave me some comfort and I guess power. Now I feel in the dark and I don't like that feeling. I also did the most horrible of horrible things that can be done during this whole crazy process......
GOOGLE!!!!!
Yes google can be a great tool in finding information. However there is a lot of crap out there too. I know this and like a junkie who can't stay away from his drug it draws me in. Of course all the terrible outcomes for my protocol were right there and I read them. Yes I know everybody responds differently some protocols work great for some while they do jack for others. I think I just keep thinking that I responded well in my first cycle. It was just a couple days after egg retrieval that my embryos decided to crap out. I guess I am just scared and like everyone else doing this I just want this to work. Then I feel bad this is only my second cycle and I have friend that has been through several now and is fact getting ready to have her transfer tomorrow. She doesn't have kids yet and I just admire her courage and strength. She will be a great mom someday and I hope and pray that day will be soon. But I know no matter how it will happen.
Well I guess that is all I will be starting my first shots in the morning and I will let you know how that goes
Goodnight
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