Infertility isn't a word that I've had long in my vocabulary. I never had a problem getting pregnant with my three children. I knew little about the world of infertility but felt that I could sympathize with those going through it but I don't think I could truly empathize until now. My husband and I are now faced with this fact. Infertility does not define who I am and what I'm capable of doing. Because of this I know that I can face whatever challenges come my way.
This journey can be a roller coaster ride of emotions and I will be brutally honest as I open my life through this blog in order to help others to better understand.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Beta Day
So I know I haven't posted anything since my transfer but I have been unbelievably busy!!! In fact, just got back from wedding in California. It was nice and it helped keep my mind off of things. Also not much as really happen as far as transfer. This time I decided not to POAS and for me personally, it was the best decision I ever made. Symptom wise not much to write home about breasts look pretty much the same as they always do, maybe the slightest of tenderness but not sure if that is because I keep checking!!! They do ache on the sides though. On the 6th and 7th day pass transfer I had quite a bit of cramping and lower back pain. Now you have to remember some people say these are good signs but are bodies are so full of meds they like to play tricks on us. But for me the lack of change in appearance in the breasts is not a good sign. We will see though. Had blood drawn at 8:15 AM and they said I would here back from them between 1 and 4!!! Part me wishes they would hurry up and call and the other part doesn't want my PUPO status to end. Will update later.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
PUPO!!!
Well when they called me back for the transfer Kev had not made it to the clinic. So it was just me and the staff. It went well and was told both embryos thawed beautifully. They even printed a copy of the ultrasound with the two little embies safe inside me so Kev could see them. So as of today I am PUPO with twins!!!!!
Scheduling Conflicts
So yesterday I missed a call from the lab. On my voice-mail it said to call Sara back ASAP!!! Of course many things are running through my mind, mainly something has happened to all of my embryos. Waiting for Sara to get to the phone seemed to take an eternity! Well...
Dr. C needed to change my time to earlier. Sigh of relief, heart slowing down & feeling much better. The only problem is my acupuncturist was going to be doing my accupumcture at the facility but now was unable to. However, I could go to his office and have it done and my clinic was cool about me being a few minutes late. Second problem, my daughter and step-son needed to be dropped off at the church for a 4 day pioneer Trek at the same time I need to be at the clinic. Driving there. It a problem but I didn't want to drive home since my car has a 12 inch lift and don't really want to be climbing in and out of it after transfer. A friend of ours is coming with him so he can drive my car back home. Problems solved, then I have to wait a little bit to do my follow up acupuncture. There is a possibility that Kev might not make in with me. Oh well not every lady can say she got knocked up by her husband who wasn't even in the same room!!! Ha ha ha
Well now I sit and wait and soon I will be PUPO with twins!
Monday, June 4, 2012
PIO 101
So this cycle I am taking my PIO shots in the evening, reasoning this is what they have on the schedule and although I know it doesn't make a difference just the idea of doing something different this round gives me a sense of comfort. Besides I have found doing them in the evening I have a better contol of the timing. Last 3 cycles when I had them done in the morning they were done at 8 AM 9 AM and when Kev's one caregiver who came in twice a week I would have them done at 4:30 AM. Now my RE gently told me at all my WTF appointments that this was not the cause of my failures and there is enough in my system to have wide gaps like that. However, I still clearly remember the embyologist say ( I was on vaginal progesterone cream as well), if I do the shot at 8 in the morning then do the cream at 8 in the evening and repeat each day at same time. My RE says that is just his personality, but that still small voice says this could have caused your problems Francine!!! AAAHHH Although I am not as anal about the time being exact it is within the hour.
Now I think most people receive their PIO shot from their husbands or significant others. Well as you know Kev is a quad and is physically unable to do them so I rely on a few good friends who are not needle squeemish. The problem is that we are going out of town for a family reunion (Kev's side) and they don't know I'm doing this and not comfortable with askingthem to give the shot. This is of course if I have a successful cycle but not going to get into that right now (one day at a time). Anyway my IVF coordinator showed me how to give them to myself although she said one side will be more awkard (left side for me) than the other. She even drew little circles so I knew where to stick the needle!!! Oh Yeah!!! Well I got my first opportunity on Sat to try this out myself since we were going to a wedding and I had to be there at 5 and I do my shot between 6 and 7. Now I like to think that I have gotten over my needle phobia as a child. I have given myself countless injections but those were subcutaneous meaning they are just under the skin with pretty tiny needles. However, the PIO shots are intramuscular with inch and a half needle injected into the muscle!!! Basically Big Scary Needle!!!!! I was hoping that my first time would be in the privacy of my bathroom with Kev there giving me moral support. Instead I was in a public ladies room with my dress (yeah didn't think that through) tucked under my bra so it would be out of the way and my undies pulled down on the side. Who comes in but a woman with her little girl as I am trying to do this. I' sure you all have a lovely mental image of this now. The look of embarassment on my face hers was shock and wariness. Of course I can't hurry it along either the stuff is in oil and goes in pretty slow. I could hear the little girl asking her mom what I was doing and the mom trying to sshhh her daughter. Fun times right?!?!?! Oh well It is what it is.
I can now proudly say I have given the shots to myself twice!!! However, I notived that with tonights injection it seemed like I had some leakage of the medicine after pulling the syringe out. I have been assured by other ladies that this this happens sometimes and that I still got most of the medicine. Still one ore thing to worry about right?!?!
Two more days, well less if you want to count down in hours until my transfer!!!! Can't believe it is here already!!!!
Now I think most people receive their PIO shot from their husbands or significant others. Well as you know Kev is a quad and is physically unable to do them so I rely on a few good friends who are not needle squeemish. The problem is that we are going out of town for a family reunion (Kev's side) and they don't know I'm doing this and not comfortable with askingthem to give the shot. This is of course if I have a successful cycle but not going to get into that right now (one day at a time). Anyway my IVF coordinator showed me how to give them to myself although she said one side will be more awkard (left side for me) than the other. She even drew little circles so I knew where to stick the needle!!! Oh Yeah!!! Well I got my first opportunity on Sat to try this out myself since we were going to a wedding and I had to be there at 5 and I do my shot between 6 and 7. Now I like to think that I have gotten over my needle phobia as a child. I have given myself countless injections but those were subcutaneous meaning they are just under the skin with pretty tiny needles. However, the PIO shots are intramuscular with inch and a half needle injected into the muscle!!! Basically Big Scary Needle!!!!! I was hoping that my first time would be in the privacy of my bathroom with Kev there giving me moral support. Instead I was in a public ladies room with my dress (yeah didn't think that through) tucked under my bra so it would be out of the way and my undies pulled down on the side. Who comes in but a woman with her little girl as I am trying to do this. I' sure you all have a lovely mental image of this now. The look of embarassment on my face hers was shock and wariness. Of course I can't hurry it along either the stuff is in oil and goes in pretty slow. I could hear the little girl asking her mom what I was doing and the mom trying to sshhh her daughter. Fun times right?!?!?! Oh well It is what it is.
I can now proudly say I have given the shots to myself twice!!! However, I notived that with tonights injection it seemed like I had some leakage of the medicine after pulling the syringe out. I have been assured by other ladies that this this happens sometimes and that I still got most of the medicine. Still one ore thing to worry about right?!?!
Two more days, well less if you want to count down in hours until my transfer!!!! Can't believe it is here already!!!!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
BLAH!!!
So this cycle the lupron has been kicking the you know what out of me!!! The headaches I have been experiencing have been debilitating. Needless to say I have been spending my time in a cool dark room, no sound, no light! It probably hasn't helped that we have been in the last weeks of school (Today was the last!!!) and I have been working with my son trying to help him get his grades up (he did!!!). Also Arizona heat does not help a woman who is experiencing menopausal symptoms as a result of the lupron!!!! I swear one day I am going to be one of those annoying snowbirds that lives down here only in the winter and spring months and live up north for the summer!!!!
However, today is the last day of LUPRON!!!!!!! YEAH!!!! CHEER CLAP!!!!
I started a new drug called G-CSF, of course it is an injection, got to stick with me with more needles. This is an interesting drug and is fairly new to world of IVF. It is not however, a new drug it has been used on cancer patients undergoing chemo as it helps build up their white blood cell count. For fertility uses studies have shown that it helps in building up the uterine lining, aids in implantation, and may help prevent miscarriage. Hey I'm up for it if it results in a healthy pregnancy and baby!!!! One of the side effects however is bone pain. For me it has not been so much of a pain but more of a constant ache. I feel like a little old lady shuffling around because of my aching bones!!!! Oh well what can I say but all in the name of a baby (or two 2 (; )
However, today is the last day of LUPRON!!!!!!! YEAH!!!! CHEER CLAP!!!!
I started a new drug called G-CSF, of course it is an injection, got to stick with me with more needles. This is an interesting drug and is fairly new to world of IVF. It is not however, a new drug it has been used on cancer patients undergoing chemo as it helps build up their white blood cell count. For fertility uses studies have shown that it helps in building up the uterine lining, aids in implantation, and may help prevent miscarriage. Hey I'm up for it if it results in a healthy pregnancy and baby!!!! One of the side effects however is bone pain. For me it has not been so much of a pain but more of a constant ache. I feel like a little old lady shuffling around because of my aching bones!!!! Oh well what can I say but all in the name of a baby (or two 2 (; )
Saturday, May 12, 2012
LUPRON BLUES
So today is my second day on the oh so lovely lupron and boy do I already feel it. My nose which had just cleared up from a sinus infection is getting stuffy again, fatigue, restless sleep, hot flashes, and headaches. Oh the joys!!! I go in next Thursday for an ultrasound to make sure everything is nice and quiet in there and then onto more drugs!!! YEAH!!!!!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
BAD ME!!!!!!
Wow I am a terrible terrible person!!! I could have sworn that I had posted my results of my last IVF but wow, 2DP4DT was my last post, unacceptable!!! Well that one was a bust, but I had already suspected it!!! Went through the regular emotions: sadness, pity, anger, new hope in the next cycle.
Anyways gearing up for a FET scheduled for June 6, 2012, hoping and praying that this one sticks and decides to hang around for the next several months!!! I have been taking the oh so lovely BCP, many may think that this is no big deal but man do they mess with my emotions. I got into an argument with my GP financial clerk over my insurance card and thought she was rude and that I was being verbally attacked. I demanded an apology which she refused and then told me to go sit!!!! What am I DOG?!?!?! Yes I did say this to her!!!! Threaten to kick me out of the Dr. office but my wonderful Dr who is also a family friend smoothed it all out.
Tomorrow I get to start my Lupron shots!!! Woot Woot!!!!
Lost 28 pounds in the last few months and ready to get this show on the road!!!!
Lets hope that 2012 is a great year and that 2013 will be even better with a baby or two in my arms!!!!!
Anyways gearing up for a FET scheduled for June 6, 2012, hoping and praying that this one sticks and decides to hang around for the next several months!!! I have been taking the oh so lovely BCP, many may think that this is no big deal but man do they mess with my emotions. I got into an argument with my GP financial clerk over my insurance card and thought she was rude and that I was being verbally attacked. I demanded an apology which she refused and then told me to go sit!!!! What am I DOG?!?!?! Yes I did say this to her!!!! Threaten to kick me out of the Dr. office but my wonderful Dr who is also a family friend smoothed it all out.
Tomorrow I get to start my Lupron shots!!! Woot Woot!!!!
Lost 28 pounds in the last few months and ready to get this show on the road!!!!
Lets hope that 2012 is a great year and that 2013 will be even better with a baby or two in my arms!!!!!
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